Thursday, June 12, 2008

Review

Ok, I think I need to review what life is about. (The following is not preaching, but rather my own attempt to crystallize my own beliefs.)

Let’s start with the big picture. God is the source of everything. God is the only thing that is actually real and absolute. He is independent. Everything else is derivative in some way. All creation comes from God. Why is there creation at all then if God has no need of it? Well, God created souls. The purpose of souls is to awaken to the truth, unfold to embrace the light of the spirit, and grow ever closer to God. Souls live forever. Forever is what happens after this life, because after we die our soul lives on for eternity. That eternity is the true purpose of our lives, the fulfillment of our existence. In the worlds to come we grow ever higher into His light, we worship Him and love Him, we mingle like atoms of light in an infinite sky. We cannot yet imagine that existence but it is the true life life, the real, actual existence to which this life is but a prelude.

So why not just step in front of a bus and get this (extremely) painful and drawn out prologue over with? Especially those of use that believe in that Kingdom to come, those of us that long to feel His presence, those of us that yearn to glide over the flowered fields of His endless love for all eternity? Why persist with this life?

Well, like it or not, it turns out this life is vitally important. Baha’u’llah introduced the metaphor of a child developing in his mother’s womb as an illustration of the purpose of this earthly existence. The child cannot yet imagine what lies beyond and cannot even understand how the qualities he is developing will be applied in the context of his coming existence. Still he absorbs and digests and transforms and grows rapidly. He develops material capacities which he will use in the material world. If he is properly cared for and develops in a healthy womb he will emerge into this earthly plane possessing all the capacities necessary for every victory on every level of earthly existence.

So this world is like a womb for our souls in which they develop in preparation for the life to come, acquiring spiritual capacities in place of the material. Unlike the child in the womb, however, we have free will. We are responsible for our own progress. We aren’t the source of it though. Like mirrors we can either reflect the light of God or turn away from it or cover our faces. The light, however, is one, and it is the source of all good, all joy and peace. It is air, water, food, and shelter. It is all we need and so much more! It is what our heart of hearts longs for! Once the light enters into us it energizes our being and causes us to grow and develop in a great diversity of ways, but the light is one.

The source of this light is Baha’u’llah. He is the Supreme Manifestation of God and God's Messenger to humanity for this day and age. He is God and He is God’s humble servant, as are all God’s Manifestations. Through the person of Baha’u’llah, through His life, through His words, through the system He established, through the radiance of His Eternal Being, the light of God shines on us in one pure and indivisible ray. Through Him the light of God is transmitted from the unreachable, the unimaginably lofty and exalted Source straight through infinite space to every single soul, every wisp of time that is the life of a soul on Earth. Only Baha’u’llah transmits the complete and flawless truth and Will of God for humanity in this Dispensation. He is the source of life for all mankind. His healing elixir is the only cure for the terminal disease of the spirit which afflicts us. His teachings and His laws are the path to peace and security for all mankind. Love of Him is the key to existence. Obedience to Him is the structure within which true life, the life of the spirit, may flourish. Service to Him is the conduit through which pure intention becomes spiritual action, transforming the servant and all he touches with his service. Longing for Him is the fire that burns away the veils of blindness and fries the sticking barnacles of worldy desire. Trust in Him and reliance upon Him is the soul’s impenetrable shield of protection from every storm and biting wasp and invisible virus of this age.

We are like plants. We must focus on our own growth, our own integrity, the depth and firmness of our roots, the loftiness and receptivity of our leaves and branches, the hardness of our bark, the fragrance of our blossoms. We must strain toward the light with all our might. We must focus all our energies on producing pure and heavenly fruits. We must strive to achieve a form that reflects His beauty, His grace, His glory.

God will take care of all the rest. He will shine the light of the Sun upon us. He will cause the clouds to rain down on us. He will give us earth to spread our roots in. He will protect us from all dangers. Above all, He has already, from eternity, established His glorious Kingdom. This is the world in which the growing trees of our souls are developing and being nurtured by Him. This is the true reality and it holds our true identity. The world of spirit is our true home. We are in it now, all of us, though some of us are oblivious. Even those of us that know of the spiritual reality only very rarely glimpse a flash of it.

All of this is true and it is happening right now! It is wonderful! How grateful I am to be awake and aware of the truth! How thankful I am to somehow have recognized Baha’u’llah! Alas, I am swimming in the dark waters of this world, trying to get through each day, trying to find my way. Writing this is an attempt to find my way, to fight back against the forces of entropy that dig and claw at me and drag me down ceaselessly! Something dark and restless lives in my heart and drives me every which way but into His open arms! Something in me loves this dust heap of a world and forgets the world of light. Something in me thirsts for the bitter wine of the mortal cup and spurns the ocean of His Presence. Something in me seeks to forage on the jungle floor instead of soaring high above the mountains.

‘Abdu’l-Baha stated very clearly that the soul is at any time either progressing or falling back. There is no in between. Oh, how high I could have soared by now! How I have failed! Failed! I feel as if I could dissolve into nothingness at the thought of my countless failures. So many opportunities wasted. So many souls I could have guided, but I did not. So many noble services I could have given. Instead I served my fleeting desires. Were it not for His mercy and forgiveness I would be rightly cast off as a stunted growth, bearing too little fruit of too low quality, decaying as much as it grows, diseased.

He is Most Merciful, however, and He is Ever-Forgiving. So now, at age 32, looking back on a life so far in which I have wandered far into the wilderness and failed to serve Him and earn the title: Baha’i, follower of Bah’u’llah, I have another chance. There is potentially 50 or 60 years of my life yet unlived. What will I do with it? All mystical questions and all understanding of the bigger picture of His Cause must be distilled down to this one question: what am I going to do with the time allotted to me?

That’s a question I have to take a closer look at than I have. I have to try to see it in a fresh way. I must not despair! I cannot settle for less than the straight path that leads to the ultimate victory! I will not! What is that path? What is it not? How can I walk it? What must I do? How do I start? How do I really walk that path in my daily life, in all the nitty-gritty and grind of this toilsome existence? What can I do to help myself along that I have not done enough of or have not done at all? How do I travel from this place of words and hopes to a place of action and accomplishment?

I must pray for the answer. I must pray even when I don’t want to pray, which is pretty much all of the time. I must pray even when I’m feeling too distracted or too lazy or not in the mood to pray, which is pretty much all of the time. I must pray even when I don’t know how to do it right or what exactly I’m doing, which is pretty much all of the time.

I must start somewhere and go from there.

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